Posted by Marley
“Never apologize for asking for what you need – if you don’t ask, the answer will always be no” -Rachel Wolchin
Asking for help can be scary. If you’re a perfectionist with an undying desire to go above and beyond in every aspect of your life (like me) it can even be terrifying. My tendency to prove that I am independent, accomplished, and self-sustaining can often leave me drowning in work and too many ‘yeses’ leaves me with more work than I can handle. Asking for help is something I’ve not yet mastered; but boy am I on my way.
Whether it is mental help, physical help, or even tangible help (like taking something off my overflowing plate) my immediate reaction when someone offers is “NO”. Because I believe that I can do it myself.
At the gym, struggling to do a new exercise. Enter gym buddy.
Gym buddy: “Hey need some help?”
Me: “NO.”
In school, struggling to keep up in a class. Enter the professor.
The professor: “Please reach out if you have any questions or need any help:
Me: “NO.”
In life, struggling to stay caught up on all that is expected of me. Enter co-workers, friends, loved ones.
Them: “Is there anything I can do to help?”
Me: “NO.”
And repeat the endless cycle until I am up at 3 a.m. sipping an energy drink and crying while I complete all of my missing assignments for school. But I am here to be the prime example of why it is okay to ask for help when you need it, and why I am now working on allowing myself to be more vulnerable and ask for help more often.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, in fact, many view it as a sign of strength and intelligence. Knowing your limitations and taking active steps to ensure that your boundaries are respected (by yourself and others) is both courageous and wise.
When you feel your limits are being reached and your boundaries are being pushed, it is okay to take a step back and ask for some support. Asking can never hurt. And while stepping out of your comfort zone can always be an opportunity for growth, growth can also come from collaboration, cooperation, and taking a physical, mental, or emotional break.