We may not realize it for most of us, but we become like the five people we spend the most time with. We start behaving like them, thinking like them; we even make decisions based on what we think they would want us to do. I heard a quote on a self-growth podcast, and it resonated with me; I even wrote it down. “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together”.
For example, many research findings prove we are more likely to gain weight if our significant other or a close family member becomes overweight. Similarly, we are more likely to engage in an exercise program if we surround ourselves with like-minded people who are into exercising. I’ve experienced this first hand while serving in the military. When I first arrived at my duty station in Japan, I was surrounded by fellow members who were into weight lifting and practicing healthy eating habits. I was not intrigued by it at first, but after a month of being surrounded by these men, I started joining them at the gym and walking with them to the chow hall to eat. After six months of being on this journey with them, I started noticing healthy changes in my body and enhanced energy levels. After a year of being at that duty station called Camp Kinser, I got transferred to a new unit in Camp Hansen. The men I was surrounded by were the complete opposite; they would drink every weekend and were not concerned about their health. After a couple of months of being with a new unit, I found myself going out drinking every weekend and not feeling myself when Monday would come around. No one made me go out or drink, but their habits were slowly rubbing off on me without me even noticing. This moment is when I realized the power of becoming like the people we surround ourselves with.
After serving my four years in the service, I realized that when I got back to civilian life, I had to be careful not to fall into the trap of being surrounded by people who didn’t want to better themselves or those around them. We need to ask ourselves questions about the people we surround ourselves with. Do they inspire and motivate you to be the best version of yourself? Do they support and encourage you to achieve your goals? Or, do they tell you that “it can’t be done,” “it’s not possible”. If someone in your life is emotionally draining you of your energy, it is best to confront them in a loving manner or detox and steer away from relationships that don’t serve you in a positive manner.
Another factor that we may believe sometimes is that if we do something alone, we may get it done faster and be more efficient. I believe that this is far from the truth. I’ve witnessed firsthand that when you work together with the right people, there is no limit to what can be done. For example, one of my childhood friends started his own concrete business called “Brian’s Concrete Services & Pumping,” and it was doing well for a couple of years with just him running it. Still, after some time, he noticed his business wasn’t growing, and he couldn’t hire more than two employees. His solution was to ask for professional help in his industry. He hired a coach and mentor that would teach him how to elevate his business and revenue. At first, he was hesitant to do this because he would have to pay out of pocket, but he took the dive, and it paid off. Now his business has been up and moving up for seven years.
To make a positive change in our life, we must remember that the people around you have a critical influence on your energy, growth, and probability of success. Therefore, I believe that it is important to surround ourselves with people that have good hearts and want nothing but the best for you in life.